Tuesday, May 10
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Real search queries from real people.
Just. Like. You.
is this for real?
Yes, people are really searching for these. No, I don't know who they belong to, and I don't ever want to.
These often-disturbing glimpses into the psyche of our searches may completely and irreversibly change the way you look at small crowds, and even friends, neighbors, spouses, parents, kids, yourself, etc. If that happens, well... it happens.
The only edits I've made to the searches are possible casing changes - searches will sometimes appear in Title Case or all lower case depending on when I found them, and in some cases common misspellings have already been auto-corrected.
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Grab a large cauldron. Exactly how big depends on the amount of hair you're hoping to remove. Fill the cauldron with the eye of a newt, a stillborn goat fetus, a Jew's liver, and three live bats, then boil the mixture in pig's blood while chanting incantations. Once the pot has reached a boil, take it off of the flame and let it sit for an hour in a graveyard. The mixture should congeal. Once it has done so, scoop out a dollop and put it on a butterknife, then use it to shave your ass.
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